All Predictions are Wrong

2006-02-07T13:20:00.000-05:00

2005-12-15T13:55:00.000-05:00

Ew, I just put on some lotion that I found in the work bathroom and now I totally reek of an old lady.

I live in Hampden

2005-12-01T14:56:00.000-05:00

So, this morning, I'm lying in bed and I hear a beeping. I look at the clock 6:20. "Tim, I think that's your alarm clock." "Um, no Max, I think that's your doorbell" It's being rung continuously, a bit reminiscent of this summer's ding-dong-ditchers. So Marilyn and I trudge downstairs in all of our pajama-ed glory. There's a flashlight being shone into the window of the door and the guy outside barks "POLICE"

We let them in to the foyer, there are about 5 or 6 in all, and the leader pulls out a picture of a guy neither of us recognize, but then I look at the name and realize that it's our former downstairs' neighbor's husband. They grill us for a few minutes about him, but of course we know very little about the situation. They soon realize this and just instruct us to call 911 if we see him. Also, we can tell him that there is a warrant out for his arrest for sexual assault.

free overpriced coffee

2005-11-30T14:36:00.000-05:00

I just took a walk down to the post office to get some stamps and stopped at a nearby Starbucks afterward. I hate to admit it, but I am in love with their seasonal drinks: Pumpkin Spice and Gingerbread Lattes and Peppermint Mochas. Well, the guy in front of me ordered his latte and was getting ready to pay when the cashier (barista? I don't think I've ever used that word before, in context) said "No, that's it"

He looked at her, confused.

"You don't have to pay for it today."

Still confused.

"I can't get in to my register and the girl I was working with closed her register before she went on her lunch break, so I can't charge anyone for anything."

"FREE STARBUCKS" I wanted to yell out to the Lexington Market area, but alas, I restrained myself.

I’m not really an adult;

2005-11-14T11:55:00.000-05:00

I just play one during the work week. Also, this weekend.

First of all, I have business cards. Yup, I have way more than I could ever possibly want or need, in fact, I don’t think I have ever been in a situation where I wished that I had business cards but didn’t. Except when I see bowls to enter to win a free lunch. I will enter every free lunch drawing from here to the Mississippi. Believe.

Two, Emily and I participated in our first craft fair on Saturday. In Pasadena, Maryland. In a church. We were surrounded by jaded old people selling things like “Keep the Christ in Christmas” CDs and gel candles with baby Jesus’s in them, who kept saying things like “Ah ne’er sell nuthin’ at these craft thangs” in their crackly old voices. Needless to say, cute crocheted hats and handmade vegetable based soaps were not big sellers, but we made enough to cover the cost of the table at least.

Three, a Saturday night party for Run of the Mill Theater. This was filled(?) with everything from high school students to aging community theater playwrights and took place in Hamilton. Altogether a fine time, but made me feel old.

Drumroll please . . . .

2005-11-09T10:49:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry to keep all of my avid readers waiting (that's both of you, Katy and Jessica). Without further ado, I present to you, Harriet Miers on the cover of the Washington Post. (Sadly, it's no longer quite as timely as it once was)

All Hallows

2005-10-28T11:15:00.000-04:00

Besides last year's Eloise costume, I am generally pretty unispired with my Halloween dress and end up just looking for excuses to wear fancy dresses. For instance Halloween 2003, when I bought a blond wig and an eye mask and went as a boy dressed up as a girl. I think Halloween 2002 I used some 80s or Molly Ringwald excuse.

But I decided to start thinking about my costume early this year. I like the idea of incorporating current events in to the costume, so my first thought was to be a Hurricane, but I worried that two months after Hurricane Katrina that is not exactly 'current' anymore. I also thought that I might run in to a person whose life was ravaged by the storm. awkward.

So next I thought of a newspaper. The only downside to this would be the sandwich board nature of it restricting my ability to sit down.

And then I had a brainstorm! Harriet Miers. But I quickly realized that not everyone reads the newspaper and listens to NPR quite as feverishly as I do, so this might be kind of obscure and end up just looking like a frumpy old lady from Texas. (Though I did plan to give out greeting cards that say "You're the best Governor ever!")

One of my final ideas was global warming. I fgiured I could be a globe with lots of Hurricanes, Earthquakes and Tsunamis happening while big Hummers drove across me. But I decided this would work better had I started it a few weeks ago not the day before I wanted to wear it.

But I finally figured it out last night. It combines at least two of the ideas noted above, but is fairly easy and not too difficult to understand. YESSSSSSS!!!

ducks, kittens and wegmans (oh my!)

2005-10-05T14:49:00.000-04:00

First and foremost, Marilyn and I would like to announce the adoption of our new four month old kitten, Isadora.

She even does tricks!

Isn't she a beauty?

Ooooh, and did you know that WEGMANS opened in Hunt Valley this weekend? In case you were wondering it lives up to the hype.

And did I ever tell you about taking the duck tour in Baltimore? Oh that's right, I was too drunk to remember it! Luckily these pictures helped to refresh my memory.

Fox On My Box

2005-09-26T10:54:00.000-04:00

Just tried to post about adventures with a TV antenna, sadly, it all disappeared in to computer void.

Long story short . . . if you live in Baltimore and are trying to use an antenna, Fox is channel 101. Also the WB is around 110.

If someone can tell me where to find UPN, my life will be nearly complete.

Dear Katy,

2005-09-07T16:17:00.000-04:00

This is your friend Max from Goucher. I've told you before I am an avid reader of your blog and I was especially taken by your two stories about giant cows on the backs of trucks.

Imagine my delight today, while strolling through downtown B-More on my lunch break I spotted a giant RAT on the back of a truck. Now maybe animals on trucks are a frequent occurance in Hobonk, Ohio, but here in Baltimore we pride ourselves as being an animals-on-trucks free city.

I soon noticed the protestors nearby.

"Are they protesting the rat!?!?!?!?!" I gasped.

No . . . they were using the rat as part of the protest. They were across the street and I have poor eye sight, so I do not know what they were protesting, but they did chant "who's the rat".

Genius

Ding Dong Ditch

2005-06-28T12:17:00.000-04:00

Our doorbell has been ringing constantly.

"Oooohhhhhh," you might be thinking, "M3 Power is so popular."

Not so.

It seems either:

a) someone is in to a serious game of ding dong ditch, expecially when only one person is home, or between the hours of 11 pm and midnight.

b) our door bell is broken and sometimes rings every 20 minutes or so.

Does anyone have any insights into Hampden? Is ding dong ditch a Hampden phenomenom? Should we start a neighborhood watch?

2005-04-14T22:42:00.000-04:00

I took literally two pictures before Gala the other night and then was excited when the film ran out, because I had absolutely no idea what else was on the roll.

Turns out I put a new roll in last year to take picture before Gala. And then over the past year, Sarah and I have taken lots of pictures of ourselves goofing around, wearing hats and making faces.

There is something really exciting about finding photos you had forgotten about, like reclaiming a lost bit of your life. Yes, perhaps I will always wait a year before developing photos.

These however, I remember. They are from the other day. being cute.

Something's up in my room

2005-03-22T19:20:00.000-05:00

Both my favorite Rilo Kiley and (I'm loathe to admit this) Promise Ring CDs are missing. I think they might have run off together and turned in to the pair of tortoise shell sunglasses I found in my purse today. Sadly, the sunglasses didn't fit quite right and accentuated the misalignment of my face. Maybe if I try to put the sunglasses in my stereo they will play the execution of all things?

On another note, I wish there was some way to go back and tell my 13-16 year old self about how I spent my spring break. I think it was a trip that had a envisioned it then, I would have thought that I had turned out alright. Or that I did fun things and had cool friends or something.

This is for you . . . Jessica McD

2005-03-21T18:39:00.000-05:00

Kudos Jessica, you diagnosed the problem! However, I don't promise to update well or frequently, sorry. I'm only keeping this up for you.

In other news, I was finally persuaded to join the facebook today. 2 reasons:

- my favorite professor, Bob Lewand, is on it, and as of this morning didn't have any friends.

- There's a group dedicated to getting Tim Paggi on it. It says he would be all over it if he was at Goucher. But I don't think that's true, he hates online communities.

apology

2005-02-13T23:47:00.000-05:00

Today I:

Got one apology note sent to me.

Wrote two apology notes.

Hopefully this week will be less dramatic.

2004-12-08T21:12:00.000-05:00

Some math kid just called to ask if I wanted to get together for lunch tomorrow. I said sure, I mean we've always been friendly, even though I generally think he has a bad attitude. So noon it is. Pearlstone. I asked if he wanted to study or something, and he said no, just chat. Sure, okay. I'm worried that he might try to ask me out on a date, I guess maybe I'll try to pull out the boyfriend card early. But maybe not, there's a part of me that likes to watch boys squirm. Blame it on the fact that a friend bought me The Rules as a joke when I was younger, and I read it. Parts of it probably more than once.

Or maybe he just wants to chat.

2004-11-19T11:38:00.000-05:00

Walking to class this morning I got stuck behind a tour the lovely Ginnia was giving. Amidst trying to swerve and get around them, one of the mothers sneaks up behind me and asks, "How do you feel as an African-American student here?" Thinking I must have heard her wrong, I mumbled something about how it's unfortunate that there's not a larger African-American population.

But she persisted. "But, how do you feel as an African-American student?" Thinking she must be blind or confused, I nicely explained that in fact, I wasn't African-American. She apologized and said she thought I was.

probably one of my strangest interactions ever.

2004-11-17T22:28:00.000-05:00

I've made this decision: I'm not going to graduate school next year.

As enticing as the possibility of going to Hopkins on a fully funded PhD program was, I realized I'm just not ready. If I were to not take a break from going to school, I just don't think I would appreciate it. I'm just in no rush. Also the prospect of taking the GRE's within the next month is a bit terrifying seeing how my senior year has turned in to one of my busiest years. So, yeah, looks like I'll be waiting tables for a while.

On another note, Goucher isn't giving us any money for the senior dance concert, even though they always have in the past. Looks like this girl's going to be working all of break just to make my concert look professional.

2004-11-09T23:52:00.000-05:00

I figured out today possibly one of the reasons why I have a hard time getting along with dancers. A ballet dancer who I'm friendly with and whom I generally respect as an intelligent person, didn't vote. Couldn't be bothered.

They spend so much time staring at themselves in the mirror that they can't comprehend anything beyond that. This same girl that will *freak* out if she gets one point off on a test, can't be bothered about a needless war, etc, etc.

P.S. Hopefully this will be the last politically themed post.

2004-11-08T23:34:00.000-05:00

After I got home today from spending $303.34 on two new tires I got an e-mail from Goucher saying that they were giving me a $300 credit from Brazil. Rock! Something good had to come out of this dismal week.

2004-11-07T01:06:00.000-05:00

drinking peppermint tea

Yesterday, I noticed my car making a bit of a sound. I didn't get too worried though, because I have a theory that cars are sort of like human bodies and can fix themselves. So, I headed out tonight to Adam's birthday celebration and opted to take 695 and 83 instead of Charles street, like I usually do, because, you know, I like to switch it up.

Just as I was approaching 83, my car started thumping so I pulled over to find one of my tires flat. Oh, I thought to myself, so that's what a flat tire feels like. Not to worry, I have Subaru Roadside assistance. So, I called them and gave them my information and the woman said that actually, my plan had expired. She was wrong of course, because I renewed it in May, but I couldn't convince her of it, at which point I started crying hysterically. So, I called my stepdad, who called Subaru, and of course, when he called everything was fine, but I've never been as afraid as during those twenty minutes of waiting for the help. 11pm on the side of the highway is not a place any single girl wants to be. I clutched my cell phone so tight and stuck a twenty dollar bill in my bra in case anyone tried to take all my money.

Sorry, if you kept reading this to get to some sort of punchline, I really let you down huh. End of story is that I'm going to bed early and will head to Firestone on Monday.

Moral of the story, however, is to make sure that you have 24 hour roadside assistance, it's totally necessary.

2004-11-03T20:07:00.000-05:00

Why do you give up so easily?

I'm sad today. I'm angry, and I don't know where to channel this emotion.

You let me down John Kerry. I was never excited about you, but damnit I rallied behind you. I registered voters. I made sure everyone at my school applied for absentee ballots. I spent Tuesday trudging door to door through the suburbs of Pennsylvania, knocking of the doors of rich democratic assholes, reminding them to vote for you. And you conceded so fucking early. Saying it was for the good of the country bullshit. Before every vote was counted.

I wouldn't have conceded without throwing a fit about how the owner of Diebold guaranteed Ohio to Bush months ago.

I wouldn't have conceded before finding out why voters in Florida pressed the John Kerry button and then the screen showed that they voted for Bush.

I wouldn't have conceded before I found out how many college students were systematically disenfranchised because they didn't receive the absentee ballots they had requested weeks ago. I can name one, a resident of Ohio, who took a last minute flight home because his ballot never came in the mail.

After the 2000 fiasco, I tried to be excited about the Democrats: Hillary Clinton, Howard Dean, Dennis Kucinich, Barack Obama. But thank you Mr. Kerry, you've proven again that Democrats have no back bone. You can be damn well sure Mr. Bush wouldn't have conceded without a fight.

Enough a rant, but where do I go from here. I woke up yesterday living in a country where radical right religious fundamentalists think they have a mandate. Where 75% of Bush voters think that Iraq is tied to the September 11 terrorist attacks. I want to lock them all up with a years worth of the New York Times. I want to slap in the face people who champion outlawing abortion, same sex marriage, and stem cell research as "moral values" while supporting a needless war, the death penalty and tax cuts for the rich. These supposedly god loving creatures are pushing for a culture of bigotry and hate. They have more in common with Islamic fundamentalists than their blind eyes can see.

But what now? voting didn't work. Protest, maybe, but we've been doing that for the past four years. Move, the idea's enticing, but won't fix anything. Blog, even less of a solution. I feel helpless.

I guess the administration will finally have to take responsibility. They have to deal with this fucked up war, with an increasing deficit and they can't blame Bill Clinton or 9/11 anymore. And they have to either pander to the religious right who rallied behind them thereby alienating moderate Republicans or ignore the social ultra conservatives and lose their support. Bush doesn't have an obvious successor in 2008, save for Jeb, so maybe it's just four years we have to get through. But the Supreme Court appointments will last so much longer than that. I feel desperate, but I have to continue to be a productive, active, fighting person, and I will.

2004-10-28T16:22:00.000-04:00

The definition of cool.

Evidently I'm the subject of some drama at Goucher. You can see for yourself here:

http://www.livejournal.com/community/goucherian/94347.html

That's cool. I like it when ill-informed people spice things up.

2004-10-24T20:15:00.000-04:00

galoshes are the new ugg boots.

my galoshes, on the other hand, are the new broken boots. it took me a while to figure out why my feet always get wet when wearing them. problem = big holes where the galosh meets the sole, luckily duct tape saves the day, and makes them look really nicely worn in.

this is, some might say, a problem when I get a bit drunk: I like to encourage people to get together with their crushes. This can involve forcefully pushing them close to each other, or devising situations for them to be alone together, or talking really loudly to one person about their crush. Moral of the story, if you don't want to be embarrassed, keep your crush away from me if I've had a few beers.

2004-10-19T13:09:00.000-04:00

newsflash:

I fixed my internet. Some of you may not know that I broke my internet a few weeks ago, it involved tripping over my ethernet cord and ripping my connection out of the wall. It looked like something I could fix on my own, but I failed miserably in my first few attempts. I decided to give it one more go before I called tech support, and like magic the wonders of the internet are mine again.

Also, clothing swap drama. Some other kids decided to put on a clothing swap, in the New House no less. (Who really wants the clothes of any one who lives in the New House!?!?!?) Not one to let go of my territory without a fight, naturally I made mean flyers for my clothing swap, some of which said "Fuck the New House!" So, instead of retaliating with their own mean flyers (obviously the best way to handle it) they ran to some res life ninny who then called me to his office.

So, I show up at his office, and he says "Do you know why I wanted to meet with you?" I play dumb. He reaches into his desk and says "Maybe these look familiar" and pulls out the offensive flyers. So we chat. He says their swap was to benefit the hurricane victims (?) I think to myself that my swap is to benefit my own closet. So we agree that I will apologize and maybe we'll merge the swaps. Fuckers. I forgot to ask who ratted me out about the mean flyers.

2004-09-14T02:38:00.000-04:00

I was real moody tonight, guess I shouldn't have gone to Tax-Lo. Maybe it's just that I knew I had to drive home and so wasn't drunk at all, but kept getting bumped in to by drunken kids. And then I got a mouthfull of some girl's long, wet ponytail. *GEEZ* If you can't control your hair, cut it off, actually cut it off anyway, or at least get some long layers.

2004-09-06T13:12:00.000-04:00

As per usual, I woke up yesterday morning and settled down with a copy of the Sunday Sun. While I waited for my parents, I read the comics, the gossip section of Parade Magazine and then flipped to Home and Family where I found this article. It seemed straight out of one of those bad holiday gift guides that Dave Barry does right before Christmas, except it was totally for real.

2004-08-22T15:43:00.000-04:00

one month later . . . plus one day

School sort of starts tommorrow, so I guess this is my Fall 2004 debut. Senior year what?

Things that happened at work this week:

-had to help sneek one of the owners out of the restaurant when the police came in, also had to lie and tell them that I didn't know said owner
-as I brought a tapas plate out to one of the chefs' mothers, I was supposed to tell them it was compliments of the kithchen, but instead I blurted out "compliments of the chicken!" We all died laughing

I think the new Rilo Kiley album is bad, don't waste your money. It's no Execution of all Things

Also, the first book that I read this summer was Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. I've been trying to read other books since then and I just can't get in to them. Middlesex was too good.

My horoscope today told me not to talk on my cell phone while driving. What the fuck?!?! When did horoscopes get so practical?

Also, for anyone who might still read this, I'd like your opinions on "Zippy" the comic strip. I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

2004-07-21T12:48:00.000-04:00

I might feel up to documenting the entire story later, but for those of you who already know the beginning let's just say . . .

seven weeks later starbucks called

2004-07-06T15:33:00.000-04:00

This is what someone searched for to find my blog:

sweat yoga sweat OR sweaty OR sweating OR perspiration "so drenched"

and mine was the first result, random

2004-07-06T15:23:00.000-04:00

A story . . . with a moral

Yesterday at about 5 pm, Adam called to have me look up his pin number and then told me that he and some friends were at Ruby Tuesday, so I walked down to join them. We had some laughs and then split up to our respective houses before some of them went to see Spiderman 2. After about a block, rain started pouring down, Adam and I screamed like madmen. We got so wet. Finally got home, changed into some dry clothes, and then noticed that my cell phone was beeping, so I opened my purse only to find a wet, blank, blue screen staring back at me. I started freaking out because I had only gotten the phone about two months ago, and I didn't want to have to buy a new one. So I called my mom ( on the regular phone, with a phone card) and told her about it and also threw a temper tantrum about it, probably due more to the fact that I was overtired than really about the cell phone.

And then I woke up this morning and the phone was fine.
Cell phones dry out and then work.

2004-06-17T18:14:00.000-04:00

HOTT YOGA!!

I went to hot yoga yesterday, I'm not sure yet if I liked it or not. Walking into the 100 degree room and sweating before we even started the deep breathing. And only in Baltimore would a bootylicious black woman in a bikini be teaching yoga and telling you to squeeze your ass tighter between quips about finding your inner strength. Halfway through I was finding it hard to hold some of the poses, not because I couldn't balance but because I was so drenched with sweat that everything kept slipping. And I don't think that I have ever smelled so bad. The whole thing seems to be an exercise in will power, just making yourself not get up and leave the room. And after an hour and a half of feeling like you are going to die, I guess everything else you do that day is going to seem pretty great. I'll go back tommorrow, but I think I'm too cynical to start extolling the virtues of hot yoga very soon.

I always thought it was good to tell white lies to get summer jobs, because my experience was that if they knew you were planning to go back to school they wouldn't hire you. So my story, while applying for jobs, was that I was having financial troubles and I probably wouldn't be able to go back to school in the fall. Which was great, except that along with the fact that the Starbucks manager loved me made them want to hire me as a shift supervisor, so I have to interview with the district manager next week. I feel a little weird, seeing how I've never been in any sort of position where I have been in charge of people before. Moral of the story is, telling lies can get you better paying jobs, but it can also get you into a bit of trouble.

2004-06-10T15:57:00.000-04:00

Back in this hemisphere. I'll spend the next few years planning another trip to Brazil though.

Baltimore in the summer, hmmm

hot
cicadas

Adam got a kitten last night, who I absolutely adore. Right now, it's still nameless. Silvery grey, scared, crying all the time.

Also, I realized I have a great secret talent, getting potential bosses to fall in love with me. That's right, I got hired on the spot one-and-a-half times this week. I should just go on job interviews as a full time job. Basically, the woman at Cafe Hon thought I was great, and promised to hire me, she just doesn't know when. And then I got hired on the spot at Starbucks. The interview was so ridiculous, lots of shit about customer service and how Starbucks is really a home away from home for its "guests." (That's right, they're guests, not customers) and then the two managers talked for a minute and came back and said they wanted to hire me. Not exactly my dream job, but it could be so much worse.

2004-05-24T19:10:00.000-04:00

a list of things so far about Brazil:

-grilled cheese and banana sandwiches
-drinking coconuts
-pick up line "What´s your favorite fruit?" "You" "but I'm not a fruit!"
-having, Jamie, the Brazilian ballet dancer take us out dancing. All week Christiana was convincing me that he had a big crush on me because we were partners once in folk dance class and then she claimed he was always staring at me and would light up when I looked back. Turns out he took us to an all male gay club and whipped out a feather boa! Can anyone say "friend-crush?"
-going to Petropolis where the tops of the mountains peek out from above the clouds
-being on the Brazilian news as the first Americans ever to learn the Samba at Mangueira. My international television debut, and the seven year old Brazilian girls I was standing next to totally showed me up

2004-05-19T20:14:00.000-04:00

Just had a capihniara with Naomi. was strong as hell, and kind of gross, but fun I guess. I`m really in Brazil now.

2004-05-13T09:12:00.000-04:00

The thing with that liquor/beer poem, is that you never really remember it when you need to. Like, when I was offered a rum and coke last night at about 3 am, I said yes instead of no . . . never again. Also, I was supposed to meet my parents at 9 am to pack up the car, I told them that I would already have everything packed, haha, what a lie.

"The funny thing is mom, I'm not hung over yet, I'm still drunk."

This should be a fun morning.

2004-05-11T20:58:00.000-04:00

Internet story . . . that's probably not that interesting to anyone really

Yesterday I added a new picture to myspace of me pretending to punch Sarah, but it's a good picture, as if I'm punching Sarah right into the air. I also added a caption that said "I can hold my own in a knife fight!!!!" referring to the infamous scar on my face from the gig knife fight/piggyback ride, whatever you want to call it.

Random boy, who I wasn't friends with in high school asks to be my friend on myspace, whatever, he just wants to up his friend quotient.

He goes on to update his profile so it says

on another note. as i look around this myspace thing i ask myself "when did all the girls become so fucking gay"

and your not tough. your a white girl from the suburbs who's probably never been in a fight in her entire life.

fuck you.

way to internet diss me even though you haven't seen or talked to me in three years.

2004-05-08T16:41:00.000-04:00

Why do we have The Hipster Handbook in the Goucher Library?

2004-05-06T00:10:00.000-04:00

I just got finished studying Portuguese with Christiana. Well, finished might not be the best word, but I gave up anyway. Now I have to do this dumb "philosophy of dance" project. Why did I put something off that is worth 20% of my grade until the night before it is due. I'll get it done, and I'm sure it will be crap, but part of me also thinks that Chrystelle might eat it up.

As I said to Morgan this evening, after tomorrow, I'll be ready to buckle down for some serious hanging out.

2004-05-03T23:30:00.000-04:00

I got a cold sore this morning. It's always enough to ruin any day/week. These are the times that I wish I had never dated Ben. He was so dirty. As were his roommates. All giving each other cold sores. I know they're not the worst things in the world, but I spent the first twenty years of my life never having one, and now that I get one every six months or so, I hate it.

I had a cold sore when I was in London. Worst experience of my life. I could feel it coming, so I went to the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist what I should do about it. She gave me this medicine, Zovirax, which is sold over the counter in the UK, but not in the US, that should have been my first warning. So I started using it, and the next day I noticed that my face was a little itchy, but I didn't think too much of it. The following day, I woke up and couldn't open my eyes to more than a squint because they were swollen shut. Evidently I was allergic to the stupid medicine. So then I had not only a cold sore, but also huge swollen lips and eyes for about a week. And the healthcare system there is of course different than the US, but not exactly better, so trying to find a doctor was such a problem involving showing my passport, lots of proof that I was student and that I lived in Wood Green, fighting, crying, pointing to my eyelids in desperation and eventually getting registered at the office only to be told that they could see me a week from next Tuesday. Who the hell is sick that doesn't need to be seen for a week and a half. The British girls later told me that you have to tell them that your lungs are collapsing or make up a desperate story like that to get any attention. So, I never actually saw the doctor, but just waited *so long* for all the swelling to go down.

I made a great "free form" project for my dance seminar though. There were 100% no guidelines for the project, the professor just shouted "It's free form!" except that it had to relate or react somehow to a dance we had seen. So I glued all these people shaped clothespins in perfect lines on to a board. They're all facing the same way except for once crazy one who is covered in really bright feathers. It was a great, really centering activity, just glueing things for a long time.

2004-05-01T12:13:00.000-04:00

These are the things that were written on my arms when I woke up this morning:

math
max for life
a picture of a lightning bolt, colored in with yellow paint
max
math 4 ever
an anarchy symbol

These are some of the things that I wrote on other people's arms:

their names
stars of david if they were christian
crosses if they were jewish
art
a math equation that was probably wrong, and illegible
maxixe 4 life
samba 4 life

the moral of the story is: when I'm drunk, you should not let me have sharpee markers.

2004-04-28T22:03:00.000-04:00

This is my favorite thing about the internet:

No one ever loses track of each other anymore. Once we're all signed up for Friendster or MySpace, there's no turning back. I'm over exposed, and sometimes I like it. Like a celebrity. This is how the internet has kept me connected in the past few weeks:
* having an ex-boyfriend myspace-mail me to tell me that he's not mad at me. Wouldn't really care if he were though, seeing how we live on different coasts I don't really plan on running in to him any time soon.

* having a random *rock star/nerd/object of my crush* from London wish me a happy birthday because he found my blog and noticed that other people were wishing me a happy birthday.

* having a different ex-boyfriend find me on myspace and then my blog (see tag from matt p)

and I think I like it. You always have a current picture of anyone you have ever known, and some little facts about them.

This is what I don't like about the internet: getting MySpace-hit on by boys whose whole profiles are about how good they are in bed, how big their muscles are, etc.

I think someday I might internet dissappear. Leave a little something to the imagination. But not right now.

2004-04-26T14:46:00.000-04:00

If you want to swoon, Tammy just sent me this beautiful picture that she took of me at Gala.

2004-04-25T18:26:00.000-04:00

I've never ever made the first move with someone I like. That's not true. I asked a boy to the junior prom in high school. I didn't know him at all though, so he thought for a few days, then said no, that he was going with his friends. His friends, however, ended up going with my friends, but I wasn't told about it until a few minutes before he showed up at my door. So we sort of ended up going together anyway, but that was the end of it. Senior year, I found out that he identified as a republican and voted for Bush, so I was better off anyway.
Is this the time? Yeah, I think it is. I think it should be. I guess its a pretty pain free time to hit on someone. Even if it turns out bad, it only has to be awkward for a few weeks, and then its summer and I can forget about it. So, yeah, it has to happen. This week I think. I hope. And now that it's written on the internet, I can't go back.

"I keep forgetting that I have to try to quit letting life pass me by."
-Lois Maffeo

2004-04-24T17:08:00.000-04:00

Hmmm . . . getting drunk . . . I guess I can be a real asshole when I'm drunk. I'm a little bit of an asshole normally, but I think it intensifies when I'm drunk.

When I got back to my room last night, after Morgan and I lamented about our sexual frustration, I almost convinced myself that I was wasting time, and I either had to go back to the party to tell the boy I have a crush on, that I do, or send an e-mail saying the same thing. I felt like I had to do it that very moment, or obviously it wasn't going to get done. Anyway, I decided to wait to see how I felt about it in the morning, and the feeling was . . . negative. Also, I remembered that Mercury is in retrograde motion, which throws everything off until April 30th, and retrograde is a really bad time for communication. I think I made the right decision.

One of my favorite kids in the whole world, Alexis' sister Flo, is in town this weekend. Lex and her Muz were going on a field trip to an art museum in Philadelphia today, so Flo and I got to spend the day together. I picked her up really early and we went for breakfast at the Paper Moon, which, PS, is totally dead at 8.30 am. Then we headed to the inner harbor to look at some boats before going to the zoo. The Baltimore Zoo . . . hmm . . . a little dilapidated. Also the first section, right when you walk in is a bit disconcerting, just matching cages lined up of different seemingly unrelated animals, owls, monkeys, leopard, etc. The cages were pretty small and looked kind of depressing. The polar bears looked so discontent. It made me a bit sad. Luckily, the "Africa" area is pretty well done, and has animals we don't have in Syracuse, like zebras, rhinoceri, and giraffes. I really like playing the "cool aunt" role in kids lives, as the adult who they can hand out with, and feel grown up around, who isn't really an authority figure, but just someone to spoil them a little, and take them to the zoo. I could hang out with Flo forever and not get bored. Maybe my biological clock is ticking?!?!

2004-04-21T19:15:00.000-04:00

I tried to post earlier today about last night, but my computer hates me . . . In short, 21st birthdays are about getting trashed and being an asshole and singing off key and stepping on people's feet but nobody can get mad at you, because they all did it on their 21st birthdays too. Now I'm busy preparing for the decades party this weekend.

In other news, someone found my blog today by searching for "getting in to Harvard" in Google. I hope they weren't looking for advice, because I definitely got rejected!

2004-04-19T20:43:00.000-04:00

first sunburn of the season, well, it had to happen. also, first allergies of the season, again, a given.

2004-04-17T02:25:00.000-04:00

best thing about tonight: dancing with Marlowe to Danger! High Voltage and every time it said "when we kiss!" Marlowe and I would kiss, except we were really bad at knowing how far we were from each other, so the kisses tended to be more just like us ramming our lips towards each other, and by the end of the song our mouths were sore

2004-04-14T16:01:00.000-04:00

So, I'm sitting here, as I write this, trying to open a jar of pesto. I've been struggling with it for about 15 minutes now. On Wednesdays, I have class from 10.30 to 3 and then from 5.15 to 8.30, so I am trying to get in a little lunch/dinner. I have some pasta cooked, but I can't open the pesto. What's a girl to do. My hand is bright red. Morgan's not home to ask for help. I even swallowed my pride and knocked on Andrew's door to ask for help, but he wasn't home. Marlowe just called. She is on her way to rescue me. Meanwhile I have some sticky cold pasta. Blah.

2004-04-14T00:05:00.000-04:00

Why is it that sometimes everything decides to happen on one day. These are the things I'm invited to do on Friday:

-go to a (surprise!) birthday party, I'll definitely be there
-go to the Choregraphie Antique concert, required for a class. It's not that this will be terrible, just long, so freaking long, rumor has it three hours long.
-dance at the gopher hole (maybe)
-dance at Sonar (maybe)
-go see Q and not U at the Ottobar (haven't actually been invited to this, but it would of course, be a good show)
-go to see Kill Bill Vol. 2 (haven't seen Kill Bill Vol. 1, sometimes I like to be blissfully ignorant of pop culture, so this probably a no, also see first two activities)

Activities for Saturday: { }

I have, however, figured out living arrangements for the next 13 months, and none of them involve Syracuse! And all of them involve being near to people I like so much. Also, this summer book club better happen.

2004-04-12T15:19:00.000-04:00

These are things I need some help with:

1) My 21st birthday is in one week. How should I celebrate? It's on a Tuesday, so that limits things.

2) What should my first (or second or third . . . ) drink be? I'm not very familiar with cocktails, so I need all the help I can get.

3) I am going to invest in new sneakers. Should I go for really high converse sneakers so I can roll them down and they would look cute in the summer but not be so comfortable, or should I look for a pair of Roos or Saucony's that would be more comfortable. Also, does anyone know a good place to buy sneakers around here.

I already got my first birthday present. This shirt:

from my sister and my cousin.
It's Marc Jacobs.
It's Hillary.
My two favorite people.

2004-04-06T21:29:00.000-04:00

Evidently, I'm a lot more lactose intolerant than I thought. If you see me, remind me not to drink milk again.

2004-04-06T01:44:00.000-04:00

I talked to my math advisor today about my schedule for next year. After figuring out my schedule for the fall, she asked me the DREADED QUESTION: "What do you want to do after you graduate?" So I figured I'd tell it like it is, "I want to go to beauty school to learn how to cut hair."
After she fell off of her chair in shock, I tired to console her by telling her that I might take my GREs next year, just in case, you know, Vidal Sassoon doesn't work out.

2004-04-04T21:47:00.000-04:00

It's official: I've run out of clean underwear. I just got out of the shower and put on some bathing suit bottoms in place of underwear. Tomorrow I have to wear a leotard for most of the day anyway, but then laundry is such a priority.

2004-04-04T03:47:00.000-04:00

The Sexies(!) we're so freakin good. They're going to put up quite the battle for the rest of the bands. Sarah and I did great dancing. Now I just have to learn how to do the Mantaray. Jefferey and I talked about crushes a lot last night, but he definitely made more headway with the crushes tonight than I did. Maybe my favorite romantic interest doesn't also favor me. But, I guess I hadn't really narrowed it down to one, so the cosmos were confused.

2004-04-04T03:43:00.000-04:00

fuck daylight's savings time. I hate this shit. while 2.45 is a fine time to go to bed. 3.45 is definitely not. On that note, here I go.

2004-04-03T12:32:00.000-05:00

Taurus - Luck is on your side all weekend. Use it to further a personal goal. Your favorite romantic interest also favors you.

2004-04-01T18:19:00.000-05:00

I am the easiest April fool ever. I didn't get any big jokes played on me, just spontaneous ones so that then everyone could laugh that I didn't catch on faster. First Sarah told me lies, as usual, and I believed her, as usual, because she knows I will believe anything she tells me. I'm so gullible. Then at dinner, Russell got me in on a joke stealing David's jacket, but really the joke was on me because David was in on it and they had already stolen my jacket and of course I didn't notice, and then everyone laughed at me. Then Sarah told me more lies: that she had eaten chicken for lunch and then threw it up, and I started lecturing her about how when you've been vegetarian for a long time, you can't just start eating meat again because you've lost your enzymes, and then everyone laughed. Then Russell tried to stick ice cubes down my shirt. Of course, I was able to fend him off and got the ice cube down his shirt, where he left it and rubbed it against his nipple. Then they put orange peels in the pockets of my jacket. I'm such a sucker!

2004-03-31T09:46:00.000-05:00

I woke up pretty early this morning (early to bed, early to rise!) so I thought I would forgo my usual packet of instant oatmeal, in favor of a Stimson bagel with fresh pineapple, yum. I walked down to the dining hall, picked up a copy of the Washington Post, swiped my card and began walking toward a table where a friend of mine was sitting. I said "hi" to my friend, made a little small talk, and then proceeded to sit at the table immediately next to the one he was sitting at. So we were each had a table all to ourselves. And then we didn't say a word to each other. Maybe I just like to create really socially awkward situations. I thought I was becoming less socially awkward as I got older, but I guess I was wrong.

2004-03-30T22:29:00.000-05:00

My eyes are red and hot from crying all day. These contact lenses will definitely need to be thrown out. Everything just seemed so overwhelming all at once. And, to be honest, 21.5 credits is too much. Everything in my life was suffering as a consequence. My grades are bad, I don't get enough sleep, I've been sick a lot this semester, my skin looks bad, I've been mildly depressed, I haven't gotten to read, knit, etc, the things I like to do, I've been drinking a lot more than I have before in my life probably due to said depression. And what did I have to show for it? Nothing.

So I decided to drop an art class that I really don't need to be taking. It's tough to come to terms with my own mortality.

I'm not perfect.

There I said it. Perfect people don't withdraw halfway through the semester. But I'm not perfect. I never thought I would be the kind of person who withdraws from a class, but I guess that kind of person doesn't exist. Withdrawing doesn't indicate underacheivment or failure. Maybe it's even a sign of strength, that I can confront my stress and bad grades and find a solution. Anyway, I didn't go to that class tonight, and I feel so prepared for my classes tomorrow. And I'll go to bed early, right now in fact. And I won't have to worry about doing half hearted work in digital imaging. I basically wasn't proud of the work I was doing in any of my classes, which is no way to approach school.

That's all.

2004-03-30T09:01:00.000-05:00

I just realized that I made some bad decisions about tonight.

1. I should be spending time in my room doing my work. period.

2. Of course, I want to celebrate Marlowe's birthday, and of course I promised to.

3. Both of us momentarily forgetting about Marlowe's birthday, Jaime and I decided to go to see the Rapture, and I think she already got tickets.

4. But I just realized that I think shows on weeknights tend to start early and I have class until at least 9.30.

So, to recap, I think I may have just screwed over myself and two of my friends. I really need to start using my planner for something other than tracking when I'm ragging.

2004-03-28T22:06:00.000-05:00

Clothing Swap was very much a success. I think the pre-swap was a great idea and will be implemented (maybe even expanded) from now on. Also the one person post-swap was a highlight. Some random boy walked in with a Class of '82 t-shirt with the names of a graduating class of some high school. By that time almost everyone had left, so I didn't even need to fight for the shirt. I admire Marlowe's modest swapping, but I can honestly say that I don't think I took anything that I won't actually wear.

I think this week is going to be tough. So much work to do. I can feel it looming right now. Maybe I should just go break some water mains. And resign myself to the fact that I'm going to be a recluse. Except for BRMC and the Rapture with Jaime.

There's a weird thing with me and crushes. When I have a crush on someone, I tend to get quiet and shy round them, which is fine because I know that is just my social awkwardness. But then post-crush, I find that I either try to over compensate by talking to them a lot, which obviously makes no sense, because from anyone else's perspective it would seem that I like them more, or I over compensate for that and don't talk to them at all, as if I'm ignoring them for rejecting me, which they haven't, it's just drama in my head.

Russell, about me at Gala, "Max was just like Jane of the Jungle, but instead of grabbing vine after vine, she was grabbing ass after ass."

2004-03-28T09:59:00.000-05:00

I think Morgan's blog is one of my new favorites.

2004-03-28T01:25:00.000-05:00

Gala =

-lots of long island iced teas
-lots of grabbing asses
-lost of kissing Mariilyn and Helen
-people telling me I looked like I was from
a)the 20s
b)the 30s
c)the 40s
d)the 50s
whatever they were close

My shoes were beautiful, but they also *killed* my feet. I don't know how Beyonce does it.

2004-03-26T08:26:00.000-05:00

WATER MAIN BREAK!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOO

2004-03-25T21:19:00.000-05:00

Haven't felt much like blogging this week. Enough said.

Just got back from Brazil class which makes me so excited. One of the great things is that I know so little about Brazil, so every little thing I find out seems so exciting. Also, my cousin's Brazilian ex-boyfriend who is now living in Sao Paulo is going to try to visit me while I'm there.

Gala and clothing swap this weekend, rock. Also my dad will be in town on Saturday. We will probably talk about astronomy, because that is kind of our point of reference now that I am taking the class and he has a telescope.

Other possible topics of conversation include:
-how his golf trip in South Carolina went
-recent adventures of his "pet monkey"
-how I'm doing in my math classes
-how boring John Kerry is and how stupid George Bush is
-we'll look at pictures from Christmas
-and he might ask me about Brazil
yep, that's about it.

2004-03-21T23:01:00.000-05:00

I have had "Toxic" by Britney Spears stuck in my head all day. It is the most infectious song. So now, I'm listening to it on repeat. My next door neighbor probably hates me.

The haircut was such a success. He hardly took anything off, just evened it up, and also gave me tips about cutting my hair myself. Basically, exactly what I want from a haircut.

I just finished grading some papers, my own personal hell, but now I think I will luxuriate by going to bed early. Fuck, I don't want to go to ballet tomorrow. I skipped last Monday, and we didn't dance last Friday, so its been more than two weeks.

2004-03-18T11:58:00.000-05:00

also, I'm going to brave getting my hair cut on Saturday. Basically, I don't remember the last time I haven't been dissapointed by a haircut someone else has given me, but I realize after months of cutting my own hair, it is hopelessly uneven and in need of some help. Anyway, this stylist supposedly used to do hair for the stars. I don't think I really believe that.

2004-03-18T11:25:00.000-05:00

I'm in Syracuse now. I got here eventually, but not easily. Out of nowhere there was a mini-blizzard on Tuesday, so my usual five-ish hour drive from Baltimore was closer to eight-ish. After being detoured off 81 onto Main Street, Small town Pennsylvania, USA I found my way back to the interstate only to come 'thisclose' to killing myself and several others as soon as I got into New York. I don't feel like immortalizing the story in blogworld, but if you want to hear, ask me.

So happy to still be alive, I gave my mom extra hugs when I got home.

Goal for the rest of the week: find a dress for gala. Today, my mom is coming home at 2, and then we are hitting the thrift stores. I already found one contender, but I want to make sure that nothing looks better.

West Virginia was a blast. Marlowe and I climbed a mountain of sorts. City girls, what?!?! Not of course with out lots of complaining and cursing Sarah out, but naturally, as soon as we were finished, we tried to play it cool. Spring break was weirdly about hanging out with everyone's grandparents. But it was fun, my friends have great ancestry.

2004-03-11T15:06:00.000-05:00

Its such a beautiful afternoon. I hope I can find someone to sit outside on a blanket with me.

2004-03-09T22:42:00.000-05:00

8.00 am - Woke up. Took shower. etc.

8.45 am - Checked my email. Got an email about one of the internships I applied for offering me a spot. I just had to let them know if I was still interested.

8.49 am - Sent emails to my math professors and my mother about how I was offered the said internship. v. excited.

9.00 am - Line up to buy Gala tickets. Yea! got some tickets for me and Face.

9.20 am - Go to international studies to pay Brazil deposit. Fuck, they don't take credit cards. Rush to my car. Fuck, gas light is on. Put gas in my car. Rush to the bank, do some fancy work with the atm and deposits, rush back to international studies and give them $405 in cash and a check for $95.

10.30 am - Make it to dance seminar on time!

4.45 pm - Return to my room. Reread the e-mail about the internship only to realize that they weren't really offering me a spot, just that they are interested and might offer me a spot. Also get a progress report for geometry saying that I'm grossly underacheiving.

8.00 pm - Digital imaging class. Upon looking at my project, my teacher tells me that somehow, the right side of my face looks collapsed in my picture, as if I've had a stroke. I explain that no, my eyes are just a bit crooked, my face was never symmetrical to begin with, so obvi, it's not going to look symmetrical in the picture.

11.44 pm - Here I am. Just talked with Sarah for a long time. Now I've got so much geometry to do before tomorrow. Not to mention an astronomy test. Where is spring break?!?!

2004-03-07T01:33:00.000-05:00

Purim parties are hecka tight! After learning the history and traditions of the holiday (get so drunk that you can't tell the difference between right and wrong) we proceeded to make cookies and pretend to be Aran Keating (bitch!). Man, christianity doesn't have any holidays about cookies and beer.

The Ottobar was really fun. It wasn't as crowded as Britpop gets, so it was more just like hanging with your friends and inter-group dancing. Not as pretentious. And I gave out my number. That's always a good thing.

Also, when I was walking to my car earlier tonight, two Jewish men wished me a happy Purim, and then asked me if I was wearing my Purim costume. I didn't have the gall to tell them that these were just my regular clothes, so I said yes and they gave me some sort of Purim package.

2004-03-06T01:51:00.000-05:00

Things I learned tonight:

Natalie and I just want some good 'snoggy boggies.'

The proper use of the word 'hella.' Hella can be used as 'really' except when it would proceed tight, in which case you would say 'hecka tight.' i.e. I hella love outdoors parties

Outdoor-international parties are hecka tight. I'm so west coast.

Nautalis Diner is hella better than the Towson diner

2004-03-04T19:56:00.000-05:00

I just gave such a great haircut. Of course, Helena has great hair to cut. And was totally adventurous and let me give her a London girl haircut. We also found out that we are both from Syracuse. Who knew?!?! So many great Syracusans at Gouch.

2004-03-03T23:46:00.000-05:00

Basically . . . avoiding doing my dance seminar reading. Which involves reading about how to read or write dance history texts.
Will hopefully find out about Brazil tomorrow. I figure something has to work out for this summer and I've already been rejected from one of the internships I applied for (for which there were 150 kids applying for 9 spots, so I don't feel so bad, I think the odds are better at getting in to Harvard), so hope Brazil comes through. Otherwise, just being bored of my school work.

2004-03-01T23:09:00.000-05:00

I guess the lesson I should learn tonight is not to get addicted to reality television. The finale of Average Joe 2 only made me and Morgan feel empty and confused. Fabio, what?

2004-02-29T09:57:00.000-05:00

So, I spent all of last night doing handstands in my room. I'm going to give Sarah a run for her money. It was all going great until I crash landed into my closet. After taking care of my torn up knee and cleaning up my room a bit, I tried to open my closet, only to find that the crash had taken the door off of its tracks. However, being the buff engineering genius that I am, I fixed that quick and settled down with Brick Lane for a nice early night. I might feel like a nerd right now, for going to bed so early, but I really don't. Also, going to bed early on Saturday is a totally good reason to go out on Monday. Who's up for it?

2004-02-28T11:10:00.000-05:00

Weirdly, my most dreaded part of last night, the car rides from Baltimore to DC, ended up being great. Just lots of good conversation with Marlowe, Jaime, and Morgan. Lot's of telling old stories and laughing, of course. And Virginia's set was great, but I wouldn't have expected anything less.

I think I have to give up trying to use my sister's ID, seeing how it expired two and a half years ago. Nobody buys it. It's so not worth it. I wish I didn't have this stupid bubble between being legal in London and legal in the US.

2004-02-24T16:46:00.000-05:00

My body is in such a weird state right now. I'll spare you all the details, but this is the second time I've gotten my period in three weeks. Thanks Inga Muscio, but I don't think I'm connected to the moon.

2004-02-24T00:05:00.000-05:00

I just finished my CD of the fifteen or so songs that they played at every club in London every night. I have been talking it up since before we left London, but never got my act together until now. Anyway, it's really good and nostalgic. Lot's of Darkness, Kylie, Electric 6, what have you. Morgan is so excited. It always feels good to finish something you have been thinking about, even if it doesn't effect your life really, but I fell better about doing that than I would have about doing homework.

2004-02-22T01:25:00.000-05:00

Goucher History Baby! First a make-out party, now a keg party. What's going on? I was so scared when scared when security showed up, but then I figured, whatever, I want to get written up at least once before I leave this place, so that might be my goal now: get in to some trouble. Also, Natalie got written up last night and is afraid she's going to get deported. Whoa, I have to join the bandwagon.

Audrey was wearing chainmail to the Gopher Hole. Why does she have to be so cool?

Marilyn, Sarah, and I got totally hyper earlier tonight. We started talking about doughnuts, had intense cravings for doughnuts, and then immediately headed to Dunkin. Sarah warned us before hand that the Dunkin staff was going to be mean to us (correct) but we were really annoying and took so long to place our order anyway. Then someone asked us where the subway station was. Umm, wait, not in Towson.

Sam gave me an A in life. It would have been an A-, but I went to the keg party. Sam also gets an A in life for being extremely social. What? Sam went to Britpop. Is he a hip-ster or a hipp-ie? If people really got grades in life, some GPA's would be so different.

2004-02-20T19:29:00.000-05:00

WHY AM I SUCH A NERD?!?!

2004-02-19T13:23:00.000-05:00

I just had a great lunch with Marilyn and Christiana. Highlights:

1) Marilyn was excited that they were serving tortellini, pizza guys, yogurt pretzels, and tabouleh. She summed up this excitement by throwing her arms up and screaming 'I'm so happy to be alive!'

2) I have such an intense cold. While eating my orange, I started a crazy string of five sneezes but still had orange in my mouth so sputtered orange juice/snot all over.

3) Found out crush boy was inquiring about me. I had been all ready to give up.

2004-02-18T23:17:00.000-05:00

Yea! I just talked to Lauren and scheduled a time for some serious mullefication.* For her hair of course, not mine. As much as I want one, wavy-ish hair isn't really conducive to mullets.

In other news, I guess I'm going to be voting Kucinich.

*mullefication - the art of turning a formerly tame haircut into a mullet.

2004-02-15T22:47:00.000-05:00

I find it so strange that people have an impression of me as being wild. Like, to people who know me in my life outside of parties I think I come across as pretty boring and nerdy and quiet. It's the what-do-you-do-outside-of-math-class syndrome. Because you assume things about a person based on the context in which you know them. Last year, I saw this random boy from my Operation Research class at a show not only on a weeknight, but on a weeknight immediately before we had a big test due the next day. We were both so taken aback. I guess because I did really well in the class, he assumed that I just spent all my nights doing my homework, and I probably thought the same this about him. I guess people aren't always what you would expect. Maybe I'm just having an identity crisis. I just need some balance maybe. I always forget to read fiction when I'm at school. And making valentines was so therapeutic. More arts and crafts too. Probably two parties in one weekend is too much.

And back to the issue of impressions of people. For about the thousandth time, I've had a conversation with someone about how we both used to be intimidated by each other and how that kept us from being friends for a long time. What's my problem, I always assume that people are too cool for me, and so I convince myself that they won't like me, won't be interested in boring me, etc. And then, later, after we've become friends for some reason, I find out that they are cool, but not at all scary, in fact nice and fun and half the time they were intimidated by me. At least two people have told me in the past week that they thought I was cool last year because I had nice hair but they thought I was too cool/mean to talk to. Why do I let people think that about me. I resolve to absolutely not be intimidated any more.

2004-02-15T10:22:00.000-05:00

Hmmm, Valentine's is nothing if not a surprise. It can be such a weird, pressure filled, manufactured holiday, and obviously, you should tell the people that you love that you love them every day, blah blah blah. But I have managed to have excellent V-Days for the past three years, so much better than the one when I sort of had a boyfriend. Two years ago it was a secret valentine exchange, ending with a five person dance party in Mike Mann's room. Last year, fondue with my girlfriends and reading poetry and Jeanette Winterson all night. This year? Operation: VDMO. Nothing like some kisses to boost your self confidence.

2004-02-12T20:08:00.000-05:00

Valentines call.
I'm on a mission babe.
Secret agent Lover.
That's what I am.
I hope this goes off without a hitch.
I hope you're not attached.
I hope I don't embarrass myself too much.
Mystery valentines are a risk, yeah.
Yeah, but I'll take it babe.
Won't let life pass me by.

2004-02-08T16:14:00.000-05:00

Hmmm . . . dance party last night was super. I'm so happy that I got word ahead of time that everyone was dressing up. Until then I was totally planning on not doing so, but once I got started, I remembered that dressing up is always the most fun part. Also, I hadn't made use of the great oversized ring I got for Christmas yet. I did Morgan's eye make-up so we looked super cute. Lauren and Julia hosted a pre-party where they were playing some drinking game and I didn't know how to play at all. Also, someone mentioned Janet Jackson's boob, and then Julia said that she had the picture saved on her computer, so we all eagerly gathered around, as myself and some other kids hadn't seen it yet, alas, Julia couldn't find it, so I guess it's back to oblivion for me.

I haven't danced with Marilyn for so long and I forgot what a crazy dancer she is. We tore the Gopher Hole up and did some great super low dances. I was a bit disappointed that crush boy wasn't at the dance party, but I was bold, demanding, and impulsive anyway, as my astrological advisor had stated. Now I have to get some work done so maybe I can make an appearance at the Grammy party.

2004-02-07T13:05:00.000-05:00

Horoscope:

Aries* You are feeling bold, demanding, impulsive and ready to take risks. Let a romantic interest think that he/she is pursuing you. Dream up an alternative plan.

*I'm on the cusp of Aries and Taurus, so I interpret that as the ability to choose whichever prediction is better, today, obvi, it was Aries, but Taurus was also good, about being able to see the future. Rock.

Sometimes I wonder if it weren't for the horoscopes and comics if I would still read the paper. Okay, yeah, I guess I read the New York Times sometimes, but it's like once you've read all the news, you still want some dessert.

2004-02-06T16:15:00.000-05:00

Yea! I'm finally recovering from my latest beginning-of-the-semester-illness. I think I might get sick at the beginning of every semester, but here I am, I keep coming back anyway. So, due to said health, Morgan Sarah and I hit the gym where we found Saunda who gets extra workout points for lifting weights even though we were there during varsity training time.

This weekend looks like it's going to be all about the Gopher Hole. Marlowe tonight and Aran tomorrow. This on campus entertainment is extra good since I spent all my money on books.

I'm trying to go on the dance trip to Brazil which would be a-maze-ing. I need to, of course, figure out somehow to pay for it, but I think I need to make it happen, because when else will I get this chance?

2004-02-01T19:42:00.000-05:00

Just created this. Did most of my work, but I am putting off writing my 'dream paper' for dance seminar, basically because my dreams no longer involve dancing, and I don't know how much I can recall about how I felt when they did.